Secrecy vs. Intimacy

Intimacy and secrecy are opposites.  If you are in a relationship, then secrets will block the intimacy you crave.

Choose intimacy.

Here are  a few simple things to increase intimacy in your relationships:


  • Accept yourself as you are. The culture of self-improvement has the unintended consequence of making us feel broken and needy. We are not that.
  • Trust your lover. Trust that your lover will accept you as you are. Your lover sees more of you than you realize. Pretending they don’t, doesn’t make it so.
  • Give straight answers. Have the courage to give straight answers to simple questions. Let go of the need to qualify your answers, or worse, ignore the question.
  • Choose intimacy. Each night before you fall asleep repeat to yourself, “I choose intimacy.” Each morning begin your day with the same choice.


The life you want for yourself and your lover is as simple as making small adjustments in your thinking.  It is at your fingertips.  Seize it.


Peace out,



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As long as Robert can remember, he wanted to be a writer. Like many young people who are called to a creative life, he had to contend with well-meaning friends and family members who discouraged it. While Robert spent most of his career as a successful attorney, he never forgot his dream. In the meantime, he pursued many other interests and was fortunate enough to have some amazing adventures. One of those interests was martial arts. He spent many years studying and teaching Chinese Internal Martial Arts. Robert promised his teacher he would someday write that book he always wanted to write and began to develop a story idea that pitted a young lawyer/martial artist against a powerful pharmaceutical company in a conflict over a miracle cure. The hero wants to insure the cure is freely available to everyone, but powerful enemies want to suppress it. The Nostrum Conspiracy is Robert’s second book. His first book, Naked Tao, breaks a few rules.

Robert has been blessed with an amazing life and it just keeps getting better. He lives in Louisville with his beautiful wife and children. "Bad Bob" is a tongue-in-cheek nick name bestowed upon him by his co-workers when he showed up at his law firm one day on a new Harley. Robert is a martial arts master and has taught over 600 students.

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